Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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