you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
