I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
