im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
