Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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