i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
