Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize