forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
