you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
