I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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