I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
