it was like having sex with a tree stump
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
