Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
