Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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