well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
