I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Everyone says I win the strip club
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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