Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
