Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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