just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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