One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
