He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
