As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
