I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
