Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
