Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
