I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
