i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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