Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
