Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
