i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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