Im at strip club and am horny
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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