just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
