Pants 0. Shit 1.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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