Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
