it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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