You're so nebulous sometimes
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
