I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
