I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize