You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
