I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
