I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Let's paint friendship bongs
I wish there were birth control emojis
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
