do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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