don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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