He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
