she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
