Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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