that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I see more hoeing in ur future
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