69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Randomize
