ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
