Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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