never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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