How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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