is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
try to milk me bitch
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
