I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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