i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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