how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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