Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
