I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
