Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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