yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
