He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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