pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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