wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
