dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
