Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
